well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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