tell your sister to shave her snatch
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
