Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
