But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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