Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize