Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
