Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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