Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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