Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
