Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
