What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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