I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
