I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
