it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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