Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
