whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
