I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize