she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
