I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so let's talk penis.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
