woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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