There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
