I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
