WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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