ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
high people should be assigned attendants
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize