Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I fill condoms, not promises.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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