and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
