Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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