if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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