tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
