Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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