Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
