Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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