i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
