Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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