Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
