We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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