It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
