I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
