I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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