Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
