We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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