I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
