dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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