i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
