Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
