Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
