Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
