we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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