lets start a swedish sibling band together
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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