I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The feeling are messing with the penis
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
