New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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