I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
