Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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