My friends, they love my intelligence
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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