i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
