My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize