they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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