Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
