I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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