I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
