I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
