No, you can still breathe under the balls.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
