he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
