i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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