YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
