Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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