Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
